Two different life stages, young adults and adults over 50, are navigating singlehood in strikingly similar ways. To understand why, we need to look beyond age and examine how the relationship landscape has shifted over the past several decades.

Increased economic pressures, along with greater attention to self-awareness, personal growth, and mental health, have reshaped people’s priorities, with partnership sometimes taking a backseat. We are seeing trends that are redefining what partnership looks like, including whether people marry, live together, or choose relationships outside traditional labels. This marks a period of significant change, one that invites reflection at any age.

In earlier generations, relationships were often built around necessity: financial stability, rigid divisions of labor, and social expectations. Today, relationships are increasingly sought for emotional safety and closeness, mutual growth, fulfilling companionship rooted in mutual values and lifestyle, and a shared vision for the future. This is a far more complex ask, raising the bar for what people find deeply satisfying in a love relationship.

For those at different points along the age continuum, whether 25 or 68, singlehood is increasingly viewed as a viable and even appealing option. Rather than being seen as a problem, a lack, or something to be embarrassed about, it is often understood as a meaningful and enriching chapter of life that can be chosen with intention. In exploring the perspectives of young adults in their twenties alongside those who are single later in life, I have been struck by how closely their experiences now align. Many are finding genuine satisfaction in lives that are not centered on having a “significant other.”

Being single as a young adult

Research shows that roughly four in ten adults ages 18 to 29 are single. Many young adults grew up observing unstable or unsatisfying partnerships and are determined to choose differently. Rather than rushing into commitment, there is a growing tendency to delay it in order to choose well. Widespread access to information about key aspects of healthy relationships, such as attachment styles, healthy boundaries, and emotional health, has reinforced the belief that love should feel secure, respectful, and emotionally attuned. Increasingly, young adults also recognize that feelings and needs matter, and that healthy partnership requires expressing one’s inner world while being responsive to a partner’s.

Many prioritize self-development, drawing from what they have seen in relationships around them to better understand themselves, build emotional intelligence, and learn what truly sustains a healthy relationship. There is also a strong emphasis on becoming one’s “own person,” which entails clarifying values, exploring passions, gifts and dreams, and building self-sufficiency through education, career development and financial stability. This movement toward developing a solid sense of self before taking on the complexity of partnership is not only admirable, but a true stepping stone toward making healthier choices in love.

Being an older single adult

Older adults often arrive at similar conclusions through lived experience in their own past marriages and partnerships. Many have experienced relationships that were unfulfilling or emotionally costly and are no longer willing to compromise their well-being simply to be partnered. With greater self-awareness, they are asking deeper questions about true compatibility before merging lives again.

For some, this stage follows divorce, widowhood, betrayal, or loss, experiences that can leave emotional “scars” and slow the process of pursuing partnership again. For others, singlehood is a conscious choice and an opportunity to rebuild, focus on self-care, and experience greater autonomy. For many, there is a mix of emotions, sadness or loneliness at times, alongside feelings of empowerment, curiosity about what may still be possible, and a renewed sense of identity.

Many people in midlife and beyond discover that their richest relationships grow from friendships, volunteer work, faith communities, travel groups, book clubs, and creative circles. Research suggests that many single adults in later life report less loneliness than they expected, particularly when they stay socially and emotionally engaged. About one in three adults ages 55 to 74 are unpartnered, as are roughly half of those age 75 and older.

Different life stages, same truths

Although younger and older singles bring different histories to this chapter of life, there is remarkable overlap in how many are approaching singlehood today:

  • There is less stigma and more ease with being single.
  • A fulfilling life no longer requires being coupled.
  • There is far less tolerance for emotional unavailability, instability, or chaos; drama is often a dealbreaker.
  • Peace, emotional safety, and steadiness are valued over the intensity of initial attraction.
  • Emotional intelligence, communication, self-reflection, and the ability to repair are highly valued.
  • There is more freedom to say, “Here’s who I am, and here’s what I need,” trusting that honesty can lead to closeness.
  • Shared values and lifestyle matter more than superficial traits.
  • Friendships and community are seen as just as vital as romantic partnership.
  • Many are questioning marriage, remarriage, cohabitation, and merging finances; flexible structures such as Living Apart Together are increasingly appealing.
  • There is a willingness to examine family-of-origin patterns, unpack trauma, and take responsibility for one’s own emotional health through psychotherapy. Therapy-informed language, including words such as boundaries, triggers and attachment, has become common.
  • Important shifts are happening in men’s emotional lives. More men are challenging traditional models of masculinity, embracing emotional awareness and participating in men’s groups and open conversations that support vulnerability and deeper connection.

In conclusion

Increasingly, people across generations are holding the belief that a relationship should enhance one’s life, not define it. Singlehood is no longer merely a waiting period for “real life” to begin; it is a meaningful chapter in its own right.

With these shifting beliefs about partnership, it becomes just as important to consider how we relate to ourselves during periods of singlehood. If you are single, I am cheering you on to recognize that this can be a rich and fulfilling stage of life, at any age. Self-love never expires. The goal right now may not be to find romantic love, but to stay loving in how you treat yourself and others.

Whether love shows up through a partner, a friend, a community, or the steady appreciation of your own company, it remains central to what it means to be alive.

Amy Newshore is a couples therapist/coach who earned her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Antioch New England University and went on to train in the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy along with Non-violent Communication which serve as the foundation of her work as a Relationship Coach. For more information, visit her website at www.coachingbyamy.com.