“Into the Valley of Death rode the six hundred.” So wrote Alfred Lord Tennyson in commemorating the heroic yet suicidal mission undertaken by the British Light Brigade in the 1854 Battle of Balaclava. Fast forward to the Pioneer Valley’s contemporary answer to the Light Brigade, the UMass football program.

While not six hundred strong, this fall’s mission facing the intrepid Minutemen is comparatively wretched. For the past 10 years, the football program has stagnated under the implacable leadership of the Athletics Department’s administration. For 2024, The Athletic ranks UMass 132 out of 134. In a slightly more charitable evaluation, the CBS College Football Rankings has UMass at 130 out of 134. An optimist might conclude that rankings so low offer the prospect of moving up. At the same time, a realist will reckon that going toe-to-toe with the University of Georgia (#1), the University of Missouri (#11), and Mississippi State (#71) are unlikely to be confidence-building encounters.

Since two years ago, when Tom Fornelli, a writer for CBSSPORTS.COM, wrote that UMass football could become a “true Botton 25 Dynasty,” not much has changed in Amherst. But hey! If the debasement of the football team at the hands of mismatched opponents turns the program into a punchline for sports writers, what’s the problem? So long as the season ends with an elephantine financial jackpot salving the collective consciences of administrators who risk nothing, then tradition be damned. Are directors of athletics eligible to enter the NCAA transfer portal? Hmm.

Jack Tulloss

Belchertown