My sincere apologies to my liberal friends, our once great country and the world. I really thought that my last satire was going to keep Donald Trump (sic) from winning re-election. Instead, reality has become a satire of itself and things are so crazy politically that we satirists can barely keep up. But I digress, again.

Despite winning, my MAGA friends won’t stop complaining to me about how elite woke liberals are calling them nasty names like “racist” and “idiot” because they voted for Trump. Just because you voted for an idiot racist, they tell me, doesn’t make you a racist and an idiot. So if voting for the once and future president isn’t an indication of racist idiocy, then what is? Take the MAGA test and see for yourself if you’re anti-MAGA, moderately MAGA or mega-MAGA. See the answers below.

In the opinion of the average Trump supporter, what happened at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021? A) A love fest B) Legitimate political discourse C) Antifa dressed as Trump supporters D) Nothing E) All of the above.

In Trump’s first term, which of the following was fake news, a witch hunt and hoax? A) Assaulting women B) Bank fraud, tax fraud and insurance fraud C) Russian collusion D) Stormy Daniels E) Stolen elections F) Fake electors G) Global warming H) Hiding stolen classified documents in a gold plated bathroom I) COVID J) Weaponizing the justice department K) Good people on both sides L) All of the above.

True or false: If men voted for Trump and woman voted for Kamala Harris, then trans people decided the election. True or false: Never believe anything that Trump says is true, unless he denies it. Is the following equation true or false: 16 47 (James Buchanan is a greater president then Donald Trump.)

In your opinion, who was a better president, Donald trump or Jefferson Davis? Which amendment to the Constitution is more important, the second or the first? Which amendment to the Constitution should be repealed on “day one?” The second or the 22nd?

Which do you prefer as an energy source to heat your home? A) Nuke-u-ler B) Burning Oil and Gas C) Burning books D) All of the above. What do you feel is the proper way to treat immigrants? A) Lock their children in dog cages B) Deport them in chains C) Employ them as cheap labor for your golf course D) Marry one E) All of the above.

In Trumps first inaugural celebration $107 million was raised and $40 million was lost/stolen (he was sure that he put that money down somewhere) and $750,000 paid in fines to Washington D.C. for fraudulent security charges. How much money will he steal from his second inaugural? A) $100 million B) $500 million C) $1 billion D) All of the above.

Yes or no: Would you attend the grand opening of the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library and Resort Casino? Admission is free because Mexico will pay for it.

Extra credit essay question: Explain how all of America’s ills are caused by immigrants and cured by tariffs.

Answers: If you read the entire satire you’re anti-MAGA. If you you skipped right to the answers you might be MAGA. If you stopped reading after the second sentence you’re mega-MAGA. If you refused to read it, you’re Gaga-MAGA and totally Musk-u-ler.

Andy Morris-Friedman lives in Hadley.