Benifer, Brangelina ... Awabley?

By RICHARD S. BOGARTZ

Published on July 04, 2008

I have been watching the story on Awad and Hubley develop, with all its subtleties and nuances. I am convinced that these two citizens are definitely up to something, but I'm not sure that the real story has been uncovered. First of all, we are talking about a couple that live together but do not share the same surname. Now, here they come wanting to change houses and continue to live together. And they apparently have no intention of unifying their surnames. When I think of this, I get a cold shiver up my spine.

Then there is the "Larry Kelley Silence" (soon to be a movie starring Tom Hanks as Larry Kelley). Our peerless (except for the other Larry) leader L.K. had no letter in the May 30 Bulletin on this topic. We all know that for 52 years Larry has been completely correct on the golf course issue and no one has given him credit. This means he is a sage and a seer, albeit unappreciated. So where does he stand today on Awad and Hubley? And what are we to make of the fact that Jim Oldham thinks the attacks on the Awad-Hubleys (hint) are a mudslinging campaign directed at Awad because of her "very successful efforts on the Select Board to open up town government" but Robert Phillips, apparently in possession of the same facts as Oldham, casts shame on Awad and Hubley for their lack of openness and honesty. This too suggests to me that there is some other mischief afoot that people are sensing, intuiting, feeling, but are not quite able to articulate. So they sublimate this unconscious impulse and attack the couple on the housing issue. (It should be noted that Select Board Chairman Gerald Weiss doesn't "get what the flap is." This open and honest, but telling confession of insensitivity should be remembered by the voters.)

At first I thought the real issue might be politics and in this election year the attacks had something to do with the presidential preferences of Awad-Hubley. And I am not completely convinced that this may not still be the basis. What if they really are Mike Gravel supporters? Would this be enough to send their critics around the bend? But would enough people know about it? Then I wondered if perhaps there was some sort of perverse ageism at work. I mean if you go by their front-page pictures, it does appear that Awad is in her late 30s and Hubley is in his early 80s. So I thought maybe some folks are actually disturbed by this May-December coupling and find it unseemly, especially in conjunction with the different surnames.

I have tried to take a second look at the housing flap on its merits, just in case I have missed the point. They are buying a house in Hadley, want to homestead it, are selling their condo in Amherst, may or may not have been completely open about their maneuvering.

And this is where I have to stop. It is just so boring. How could this possibly get all the attention it is getting?

Perhaps fantasy is needed where facts are so dry. Is the South Hadley place maybe going to be a drug house? Will they fill it with grow-lamps and harvest marijuana grown in every room in the house? Maybe a house of ill repute? I've heard nothing to this effect but I suppose the Nevada industry might be franchising. And speaking of Nevada, might the Awabley house have been selected by the governor as a casino location.

Maybe we should reroute the 4th of July parade to pass by their new digs just to check it out.

Richard S. Bogartz is a professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.